A day in the life of me

Here's what my day has been like for way too long now:
7:30: Send kids off to school (I have gotten up and made breakfast and made sure they were wearing clean clothes since school started again in January. This is a huge step for me)
8:00: Check my email while I eat breakfast (usually something not very good for me)
8:30: Head to my dungeon (which is really a very bright yellow bedroom with a good view, but it feels like a dungeon). Sew, sew, unpick, sew, glitter, sew, design, sew, etc.
2:00-ish: Remember that I haven't eaten lunch. Eat something not very good for me.
2:45: Kids come home, take off their shoes and socks and leave them lying right in the middle of the living room. Empty backpacks and leave it in the middle of the living room. Then they fight, watch TV, play, fight, eat, fight, etc.
Meanwhile, I am sewing in the dungeon.
4:00 on most days: Take Olivia to swimming. Try suits on girls, learn the latest changes to routines and suits that I still have to make, etc.
5:00: come home and wonder what on earth we are going to have for dinner since Brandon most likely won't be home and I haven't been to the grocery store for about 2 months now.
7:00ish: Back to the dungeon for more late night sewing, glittering or whatever until I am too tired to think straight. Unfortunately, I have worked with a tired brain before and it usually ends up with more unpicking the next day.
11:00 or later: Go to bed.

Now, here's the thing. I have earned a good chunk of money sewing suits, but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. I'm not very good at balancing things in my life. It's all or nothing. I do this a lot. For instance, when I read a book, that's ALL I do. Read. Until I'm done. Now it's SEW. Until I'm done. But then, after I'm done, what will I do? (I also think that I do this in part to avoid things I don't like: cleaning, cooking, laundry, discipline, etc.)

I'm starting to think that my brain is a one-track brain and is incapable of focusing on more than one thing. But then, sometimes I think that I am very good at multi-tasking. I have come to the conclusion, for now, that when I find something that makes me happy in any form, I overdose on it. I think I am addicted to creating suits. I like to see something I have designed, created, embellished and loved end up being loved by the girl who it was created for. I guess deep down, I also like hearing praise over my creations. Just today, somebody said I was "famous". I don't think that's true, but I can't help but hope that at the coming swim meet, somebody will ask "who made all of those fabulous suits?"

In the grand scheme of things, it shouldn't matter to me that something I have made is important, what should matter to me is that someone I have raised is important. Right now, I'm having a hard time separating my "working self" from my "mom self". I am impatient with my children, I don't want to cook or clean for them, I let discipline and homework slide, and many other aspects of my life and theirs so that I can create something "fabulous". Shouldn't the "fabulous" that I'm creating be in my own life? Shouldn't the house, kids, husband and self come before everything else, and least sometimes? How do I make myself take time for something other that what my one-track brain has decided is most important in this moment? Where do I find the patience to tuck Sam in for the fourth time tonight? What I really want to do is yell and scream at him because he is kicking the wall, it's 9:39, and he's really tired. How do I become a good mom, and not just a good seamstress? Why is it that I can be really good at some things, and really, really bad at others? (and those are usually the more important things)

BTW, these are all rhetorical questions, I don't expect anyone to answer, or to give me a pep talk. This post is just more about self discovery than anything else.

I have a good friend who chooses one word to focus on for a whole year. Something to think about, work on, try to do better, etc. I have thought a lot about this in the last few weeks. I thought, "Okay, I'll do it too." So what word did I come up with for myself? I was thinking TRY. But then I thought that was pretty lame, because it would be an easy out. After all, I was only TRYING, and if I failed, at least I TRIED, right? So I was never brave enough to share this word with anyone (except my sister, who laughed with me about it). Tonight, I was reading this friend's blog and I saw that someone else had chosen the word BALANCE for her word. I knew right away that that's what my word and my focus needs to be. BALANCE. In everything. In what I do with my time, in what I eat, in what my priorities are, in my physical balance (I'm starting to feel old and decrepit), in dealing with my kids, in taking care of myself, in EVERYTHING. So, Adrian, I am officially choosing a word. I'm going to go write it on my mirror and try (ha ha) to have more BALANCE in everything I do. I even started by going back into Sam's room and lying down with him for a few minutes until he calmed down and we could talk about why he was so upset. (He's just really tired). So, I successfully balanced being a mom with being a blogger. Good for me. Pat on the back. Tomorrow, I will start working on the mom/swimsuit maker dilemma. A little balance at a time will be okay. At least it's something. And that's all I'm going for right now. I have a whole year to get this perfected.

Can-Can, Can You Do the Can-Can?

I've been pretty busy sewing suits the last few days. Here's what I've accomplished (in part):

Olivia's duet (Can-Can)

Hercules team (I made eight of these)

Disney medley (I made this suit design last year, and just had to make one more--mini size!)

War!

We all got nerf dart guns for Christmas. We have had several wars in the ensuing days. Even I participate (I know, I know, amazing...). Anyway, this is about how the battle goes... It starts with everyone happy and away.

Pretty soon, Julia decides that she would rather be the and she runs around gathering up darts which she then sells to the highest bidder. She is a total entrepreneur. Just kidding, she hands them out for free (as long as you are nice to her).

Somewhere along the way, decides that he has it in for me, and he hunts me down. This is about when I decide that I need to help Julia with the ammo.

The war always ends with someone (usually Olivia) in It's always the same. But we still play. Go figure...

The Simple Things

Remember the good old days when you used to make projects from stuff lying around the house, or you used to find ways to entertain yourself on school vacation days without a TV? I thought my kids didn't know anything about these grand old traditions. How wrong I was! Sam and Julia have been home today (Dan and Olivia are off with friends). They have been having so much fun together. I had a big spool that used to have elastic on it (I've used over 144 yards of elastic! Wow). Anyway, I gave the empty spool to Sam and told him to make a project. He and Julia made a kite! Here's a picture: We took it outside to fly it, but alas, there was Not a single breath of a breeze.

This was no good for Sam. He HAD to fly his kite. So, he made his own wind:

I love the look of pure on his face. Who knew that a homemade kite could be responsible for so much happiness?I'm thinking that TV should take a back seat for the whole vacation. Then again, maybe this was a one time deal and tomorrow will be fighting as usual. A mom can always dream, though...

Turn Around

For three years now, Dan has been making fun of synchro every chance he gets. I think he understands that it isn't easy, but he just can't pass up an opportunity to bug Olivia. However, the other day I was listening to some of the music I needed to design suits for. He came in and asked what I was listening to. Then he shocked me by saying that "synchro has some really cool music"! He even went so far as to download some of it on to his MP3 player. Maybe we'll convince him yet that making fun of his sister never does pay off in the end. There is one song in particular that all the kids are really enjoying. It's got a great bass beat and they have been blasting it over and over and over again. I got some video of them (mostly the boys) dancing to it. It's pretty funny. Enjoy!

Fun Friday

If you remember, a couple of weeks ago I spent an entire day with Olivia at doctor's offices, x-ray places and labs. Guess what I got to do on Friday? Yep. Lucky me.

Dan has been playing flag football after school for a couple of months. On Thursday, apparently he tackled someone and hurt his thumb. Being the good mommy I am, I figured he could tough it out and eventually he would get tired of complaining that it hurt. Friday morning arrived and not a single breath of "ow" escaped him before he left for school. So I went shopping.

Then the school nurse called me. I happen to be on a first name basis with Veronica. It seems that she calls me way more often than she should. In fact, I have been called more this year than I have in all previous years combined. It makes me wonder, what does this mean? That I am a *bad* mom? Or that my kids are whiners? Or that they are hypochondriacs? Am I over-thinking this? Let's hope so.

Anyway, she calls me while I am happily shopping at the mall. In between the lousy reception I manage to appreciate the fact that my tough sixth grader is in her office crying like a baby. (okay, I made that part up). She is concerned that his thumb is broken or has some serious soft tissue injury. She politely informs me that I should take him to see a doctor. Now, I figure since I went to nursing school I know a couple of things, and besides, I hate to waste time at doctor's offices. And since he didn't utter a single "ow" before school, I figured it was fine. But then the other part of me says, "you haven't really been a nurse for 10 years now (ouch), and you never did deal much with broken bones, so maybe she has a point". So that part of myself called the doctor. But I did finish a little shopping before I went to pick him up. (I had to satisfy both parts of myself. You understand, right?)

We had a fine time seeing the doctor. Amazingly enough, he was ON TIME!!! We were in and out of the office in 20 minutes and headed for an x-ray. Turns out the thumb is not broken, but he has a pretty serious strain. He got his splint for sympathy (too bad the girls won't see it until Monday), and we even got to keep the x-ray. I'm thinking it will be a cool Halloween decoration.

Who's the Leader of the Club?

M - I - C - K - E - Y !!!Isn't this the cutest suit ever? I really like it. The design was a product of mucho brain storming on the way to Cali a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for the help Kara, Jessie and Ann!! I think it turned out even cuter than I thought it would. Now I can't wait to have Nicki try it on!

Synchro Starts again...

It's synchro season again! Olivia had her first meet of the season on Saturday. (Just figures, no routines this time) She moved up an age group this year, into the 11-12 age group. So that means some stiffer competition. Not to worry, she did AWESOME!!! She finished 2nd! But the best part is, she beat the girl who she always finished second to last year!!! I was so excited and proud of Olivia's hard work. (And it's really nice to get lots of hugs from her!) It was great to see her (and her coach) so excited. Olivia had a grin on her face for the entire weekend. Congratulations, kiddo!

HELP!

I need an awesome $10 gift for the Ward Council Christmas Party this weekend. Any good ideas?

A great time waster!

Look at this great time waster I made!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Here's what I did today...

Peace and Quiet

Ahhh, the peace and quiet of any empty house! Don't get me wrong, we had a GREAT time having so much family here for the holiday. But it was pure bliss to send the kids to school yesterday and have the house completely empty except for me!

Turkey Day was great. Dinner was so yummy. And it was super nice to have four extra "mom" hands helping prepare it. Actually, I was probably one of the helpers, I think Grandma was the head chef. We ate a lot and played a lot. One of the best things about living in Arizona is that we get to play outside a lot this time of year. Most of us (Grandma refused to come) played kick ball, soccer and baseball. I even scored a run for my team! Go Ekbergs!

We had a bunch of little monkeys around who enjoyed climbing trees and making messes in the house.

Olivia and Audrey showed off some sweet home improvement skills by making a cupboard thing for Olivia's room. They only put it together wrong twice, buy Grandpa was a good sport and helped them get it just right in the end.

Sam and Joey were inseparable. I thought for sure Sam would be so sad when "his Joey" left, but he seems to be handling it okay.

The big boys played more Wii than should be allowed by law.

But I guess they got along pretty well, so no big deal. They also eat more than should be allowed by law! Lance made some AWESOME chocolate chip cookies. But I don't think they tasted very good!

Now, it's back to reality for me. I started a new job yesterday. I have decided that I need to make myself go to work each morning (in my sewing room), not answer my phone and not get on the computer. Otherwise, how will I ever get 70+ swimsuits made by the end of January? Here's what I made yesterday:

Houseful

My parents usually come down for Thanksgiving. This year, because they came in September for Dan's Priesthood ordination, they said they weren't going to come in November. So we have been planning a small Thanksgiving with just the six of us. Late last week (Friday, I think), my sister called and asked if her family could come because they have some business to do in Tucson. Grandma and Grandpa decided to come too. Now I'm expecting a houseful this afternoon and I'm wondering where 15 people are going to sleep in my house! So since I got home from LA (which was fabulous by the way), I've been trying to get blankets and sheets washed (I have some smelly boys), clean the bathrooms, shop for food (I hadn't even bought a turkey until Monday, now it's trying to defrost), help in my kids classrooms, go to Primary Presidency meeting, wash some towels, shovel out the sewing room, etc. etc. I really don't have time for blogging, so what am I doing? Blogging.
I am excited to spend a little time with my sister and her family and my parents. The kids are SO excited to see their cousins. It should be lots of fun, or at the very least, lots of chaos!

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to LA I go...

I am going to LA to shop for fabric in the Fashion District. I am quite excited! It should be lots of fun. After all, I'm going with some friends and leaving the kiddos behind. What could be better?

I am...

...a lazy bum.
I have been enjoying the *slightly* cooler weather and doing not much of anything for the last couple of days. I love a good book. I'll blog more when I'm done reading and if I can think of anything remotely interesting...

1st Grade Musical

There's no High School Musical for us yet, but we did have a 1st Grade Musical last week. Sam did a great job! He had a speaking part and he actually said it. (It wasn't understandable, but at least he got up there and did it. I can't get him to do anything in Primary, even though there are a LOT fewer people. Go figure). I had the privilege of helping them paint their shirts (ugh), but they turned out really cute. Sam really got into the songs and he really jammed on the guitar! It was fun to see the kids get so excited about what they were doing. I think Sam might have a future in musical theater. He could be the next big star on the Disney channel. What do you think?

Seven Random Things

I got tagged by my friend Jessie a couple of weeks ago. I don't know about this one, but I'll give it a try. It is supposed to be seven random things about me.

1. My favorite color is yellow. I'm wearing it right now. It makes me feel happy.
2. Before I had kids, I thought the perfect offspring would be two boys 18 months apart, then a girl three years later. I think I must have been crazy. Who would want two boys that close together? They would fight all the time! Come to think of it, all kids fight no matter when or where they are in the line-up. Maybe I should have stopped at one. (Just kidding, I think only kids are lonely).
3. I have moved 9 times since I've been married. Three different states. We have lived in Arizona the longest we have lived anywhere. (Four years, nine months and counting...)
4. I made lots of yummy things today: strawberry freezer jam, Lion House rolls, brownies (actually Olivia made them, I only helped), apple crisp, "Squished" potatoes, fresh green beans and steak for dinner (best dinner ever). I'm thinking I should have made banana bread because I have a whole bunch of icky bananas, but tomorrow is just as good, right?
5. I'm thinking about becoming a substitute teacher, but I'm a little afraid that my lack of patience would be a problem. On the other hand, I would only be with a certain class for a day, and I can do anything for a day, right?
6. I haven't scrapbooked since May when my sister came down for the weekend. I'm too busy blogging. At times, I think I should give this up and go back to the scrapbooks, but this is so much easier (and there is instant gratification AND feedback)
7. I drink way too much Diet Coke. But that probably doesn't really count as a random thing, because I think everyone knows I drink too much Diet Coke. But, hey, I needed one more thing for my list, and my brain hurts trying to think of something.

The rules of this tag state that I am supposed to tag 7 people, but I'm afraid of hate mail if I actually do it, so I'm leaving it open. If you would like to randomly think about your life and share it with the blogging world, consider yourself tagged!

Don't Die!

So, Olivia has been really sick this week. It all started with a cough last week, which kind of hung around, but didn't get a whole lot worse. Then on Sunday, she was dizzy, coughing, feverish and just plain sick. I actually thought she was faking--well, not exactly faking, but playing it up a bit. I guess I win the bad mom award. She stayed home from school on Monday, and I was going to make her go on Tuesday, but she was hot, so I let her sleep. When I got home from dropping the other kids off (I woke up at 7:30 that day, they usually leave at 7:33. Like I said, bad mom), she was up and had a really funky rash. Now, I've been a nurse, and a mom of four and I'd never seen a rash like this. So, I did what all good moms do, turned on the internet. When that failed me, I called the doctor. (This is actually pretty out of character for me--I think going to the doctor is a waste of time. Bad mom). Turns out that the rash is called Erythema Multiforme and they don't know what causes it. It'll get worse before it gets better. They were also concerned she had Valley Fever and/or pneumonia, so we had to go for x-rays and blood tests. After spending the WHOLE day in waiting rooms, we had to back for another chest x-ray because the first was hazy. After the second, they did determine that she has pneumonia. All hail antibiotics!

So, on to today. She stayed home from school AGAIN, but when I went to the school to pick up some homework, EVERYONE knew that she had pneumonia. The doctor's office called this afternoon and said she does not have Valley Fever (big sigh of relief), and that it is probably viral pneumonia because she really isn't any better yet. Bah on antibiotics! And the rash is getting worse (and really itchy).

After school, she missed Activity Days. A couple of the girls came by after it was over with this note:

I think it's HILARIOUS that they told her not to die! How funny are 10 and 11 year old girls? Can you say DRAMA?!?

I'm afraid that she will be my buddy again tomorrow, and then part of me wonders if she should even go to school on Friday, because it's FRIDAY! What can that accomplish? Is that a sign of a bad mom, or a really cool mom? Any thoughts?

Julia in the News!

Check out this article about Julia's first place finish in the Synchro meet last week. Too bad she quit the day after the meet! Oh well. I figure she is five and we'll start up again when (and if) she wants to. No pressure from me!

Synchro and Doughnuts

For all of you bloggies just dying to support Olivia's synchronized swimming habit, here are two lovely options for you:

1. Krispy Kreme coupons: Buy a certificate from Olivia (or me) for $6, and get a dozen original glazed doughnuts. Save $1.50 on each dozen, just by seeing us first! This will be an on-going fundraiser for Olivia through out the year.


2. Swim-a-thon: Olivia will be swimming laps (up to 200) next week. You pledge an amount per lap, or a set amount and then pay up after she swims. (FYI- she swam all 200 last year, no problem!) If you would like to contribute, please let us know. Also, her team is a non-profit, so anything you donate to this fundraiser is TAX-DEDUCTIBLE!!!

Olivia thanks you all in advance and wants you to know that she LOVES synchro, and she is really hoping to make it to Nationals this year with her solo and trio. She is super dedicated, and I really admire all that she sacrifices in order to excel at this really difficult sport.

Thank you all in advance, and we hope to hear from you soon!!